There’s only one way, to say, three words, for you.
“I love you.”
Actually, there are 5 ways to express love.
We each have each language to feel && receive love.
It’s possible for couple to truly love each other, but feel unloved because they don’t speak the same Love Languages.
“We must first understand our own primary Love Languge, then seek to understand the Love Language is our loved one.”
The 5 Languages of Love is valuable in any form of human relationships, it can be applied to your parents, your children, your friends, your neighbours. Any human being has their own Language. This article will focus only on Romantic Relationships.
Tip : Love Languages helps you make a conscious choice about how you express your love based on what your partner would appreciate the most.
The 5 Languages of Love are :
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Services
- Receiving Gifts
- Words of Affirmation
For example, a relationship may fall apart when a couple get comfortable and fall into expressing love in their own Language and come to find that their partner only felt loved when another language was present. (i.e. It was nice of you to do the dishes (acts of service) but I really wanted you to go for a walk with me (quality time)).
We gotta be aware of what makes each other light up, what throws us in the dumps, and what brings more fulfilment in our relationship. A loving && lasting relationship takes time && effort.
Let's explore the 5 Love Languages that you and your partner may possess:
1. Quality Time
We cannot buy time, hence undivided attention is valuable to a person that speaks Quality Time as his/her language.
A person who speaks Quality Time love the word "doing this/that together”, you don't just want to be in the same room, you need your partner to give you their ears and eyes with full attentiveness.
Keep smartphones away and get any distraction hazard out of the picture if your partner speaks this Love Language. It’s a major turn off!
Learn to speak Quality Time :
Just because two people are in the same place together doesn’t mean they’re actually spending quality time with one another. Hence the “quality” component of this love language. It is the Level of Attention you pay your partner that counts, not the minutes you are right next to your partner.
Suggested activities :
- Go on a night drive, or an afternoon drive, seems like a new way to date during this pandemic.
Tip : Some of the most quality conversations happens when two people sit side by side, it’s simply a more relaxed setting for honest to heart conversations.
- Share a work out, or exercise routine. Could be any kinds of sports. Not limited to the one in the bedroom, silly!
- Take some time off your phone, be mentally present when you are with your partner, show them respect by giving them undivided attention. They would appreciate time with you so much.
- Picnic in the balcony ( Cook up a storm, build a pillow fort in your living room, stay up till the sun comes up. Do something special within our limits. Make memories.)
Suggested lingerie designs :
NEVER, EVER think that touchiness are limited to being in bed. It doesn’t hurt to yearn for his skin brushing to yours all the time. It is okay to hold hands in the car and have him randomly kiss you all over your face out of that cute Snap story.
You may be cool with social distancing but if you do have a partner that speaks this language, just..hold on a little longer. Hug a little tighter. Smother them with more than a peck of kiss! The more kisses, the better!
Learn to speak Physical Touch :
If your love language is physical touch, then that means you prefer physical expressions of love over all over verbal compliments or gifts.
Tip: Learning to express your love through intimate touch is possible, even if you’re not having sex with your partner.
Suggested Activities :
- Giving your partner a back rub. Rubbing your partner’s back, or massaging them, can signal to them that you’re there for them and that you love them.
Tip : Add some massage oil to heighten the whole experience. It’s also not so heavy on our hands!
- Cuddling your loved one releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that makes you feel like nothing can hurt you.
- SEX! Also, your partner might simply need a little appetizer before the main course. Don’t neglect the hand holding, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or other types of foreplay that can help your partner get in the mood to help you. This is a requirement of togetherness.
- For a lover who speaks Physical Touch, hug them from behind in total silence. Sometimes they just want to be held.
Suggested Lingerie :
3. Acts of Service
Do you hear wedding bells and yourself saying “I Do” everytime your SO offer you help?
SO* means Significant Other
Him : Do you need help with the dishes?
Me : Yes I do. *hallucinates walking down to aisle”
If you agree, you truly are a speaker of Acts of Services.
Our daily commitments are super exhausting, so when he tries to fight for your way && assist you in the littlest chores, you can’t help but to feel noticed, appreciated, and of course, to feel deeply loved.
Do not turn it around && give more burden to your partner if he/she is the speaker of this Love Language. You don’t want them dumping you along with their trash!
Learn to speak Acts of Service:
Your partner has to be conscious that you are doing this solely for them, out of love. Remind them everyday that you are there for them, 24/7 and you got this, together! Prove your love with Actions.
- Be their runner for a day. It may sound insane, but doing his chores would surprise him to no end. Do your man's laundry, checked. Bring his car to the workshop for maintenance. Drop something at the post office for him, checked. Accompany his mum to the grocery, checked. You may want to sneak a little treat for him in between, he's paying for the food anyway!
- When you hear them vacuuming around the house, don't just stare at that TV screen! Do the dishes, wipe dust off the shelves, and maybe start doing TikTok dances with your partner to make cleaning more fun! Bored in the house no more!
- A full heart starts with a full tummy, and they must feel tired to make themselves a meal after all the work. Cook a homemade meal, or even take-out their favourite McDonald's set, their tummy would appreciate your sweet little gesture!
4. Receiving Gifts
No you’re not a gold digger. Don’t dismiss the language of receiving gifts as mere materialism or a misperception by people who equate love with money.
The gift needs a background check, the delivery must have the element of surprise, and finally, the gift must have meaning.
Meaningless presents can only sustain their attention for about 2 days or something. It’ll be a complete waste of time for the two of you.
But boy if you chose the right gift...
The thought always counts most to you && the gifts don’t necessarily have to break anyone’s bank. A cute morning text to start your day or a dedicated Spotify playlist to you is sufficient to be reminded of his affection.
Tip: If your partner love Receiving Gifts, keep all important dates blocked in your calendar && remember to leave little surprises on his or her chair!
Learn to speak Receiving Gifts:
People who speaks Receiving Gifts are usually mad obsessed with symbolisations and takes the meaning behind each present very, VERY, seriously. So, think about them before you check out that gift from the cart!
Maybe he’s been checking those new sneakers out... Maybe she’s been eyeing that new lingerie from Made of Lace. Gotta pay attention to know what they like.
-Be the first to remember birthdays and anniversaries. Show your enthusiasm on celebrating the occasions by planning something fun!
It thrills them to know that you actually care. Tease, if you want, but don't give it all away to keep the momentum going! They love a good suspense!
- Get them the things that they have mentioned before. Book a table at that restaurant they’ve shared on Facebook. Trust me, they remember.
They'll appreciate the fact that you do pick up what they said and worked your way to get them what they wanted. Plus points!
- Give them something that are related to their hobbies. She loves selfies? Get her a ring light for that IG pic. He loves basketball? Order him some hoops so he can play at home this MRO. It shows that you are not only thoughtful but also super supportive of their passion.
Suggested Lingerie :
5. Words of Affirmation
Words do speak louder to you than any other Love Language. It is easier said than done nonetheless, because his choice of words reflects the degree of his love towards you.
Fluttering compliments && supportive encouragement makes you fall, fast as lightning but cushioned by his constant well wishes.
Your partner that speaks this language will start to overthink if you forget to end the call with “I love you”. Do not even think to comfort them if you start yelling and using harsh words during an argument.
Learn to speak Words of Affirmation :
Speak sugar to their ears, but don't get yourself high!
Apart from budding words of encouragement && affirmation, you also need to be mindful of your partner's feelings, especially when it is their turn to talk. Be present!
- Like and comment away! Leave a cheeky remark and uplifting compliments whenever they upload something new on the feed. This will not only strengthen your relationship but also boost their confidence and self-esteem. Nothing like a little Public Display of Affection on social media.
- Congratulate them for accomplishing something, from as little as finally getting out of the bed to acing that work project. It will keep their spirits up to achieve even more as your Words of Affirmations encourages them to their goal.
- Text them a thing that you love about them everyday. They love hearing praises and compliments, especially the ones from the people they love.
- Whenever they feel discouraged, cheer them up with supportive affirmations. You are the reason to keep him going.
Not sure of your Love Language? Take the Love Language Quiz with your partner at https://www.5lovelanguages.com and share the results with each other!